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Lady

A '''lady''' is the female counterpart of a lord, the counterpart of a gentleman, or any adult woman, though this usage is constrained.

Etymology and usage

The word comes from Old English language|Old English ''hlǣfdige''; the first part of the word is a mutated form of ''hlāf'', "loaf, bread", also seen in the corresponding ''hlāford'', "lord". The second part is usually taken to be from the root ''dig-'', "to knead", seen also in dough; the sense development from bread-kneader, or bread-maker, or bread-shaper, to the ordinary meaning, though not clearly to be traced historically, may be illustrated by that of "lord". The primary meaning of "mistress of a household" is now mostly obsolete, save for the term landlady and in set phrases such as "the lady of the house." This meaning is retained in the United States, however, in the title First Lady for the wife of an elected official. In many European languages the equivalent term serves as a general form of address equivalent to the English ''Missus'' usually written ''Mrs'' (French language|French ''Madame'', Spanish language|Spanish ''Señora'', Italian language|Italian ''Signora'', German language|German ''Frau'', Polish language|Polish ''Pani'', etc.). The special use of the word as a title of the Mary the mother of Jesus|Virgin Mary, usually ''Our Lady'', represents the Latin ''Domina Nostra''. In Lady Day and Lady Chapel the word is properly a genitive case|genitive, representing ''hlǣfdigan'' "of the Lady". The word is also used as a title of the Wiccan Goddess, ''The Lady''.

British usage

In Britain, and possibly elsewhere, 'lady' is often, but not always, an appropriate synonym for 'woman'. It has a formal and respectful quality, being used to describe an older woman such as 'an old lady' or when speaking about a woman to a child (eg. "Give the money to the lady.") As a title of nobility the uses of "lady" are mainly paralleled by those of "lord". It is thus a less formal alternative to the full title giving the specific rank, of marchioness (title)|marchioness, countess, viscountess or baroness, whether as the title of the husband's rank by right or courtesy, or as the lady's title in her own right. A widow becomes the dowager, e.g. ''The Dowager Lady Smith''. In the case of sons of a duke or marquess, who by courtesy have "Lord" prefixed to their given and family name, the wife is known by the husband's given and family name with "The Lady" prefixed, e.g. ''The Lady John Smith''. The daughters of dukes, marquesses and earls are by courtesy ladies; here that title is prefixed to the given and family name of the lady, e.g. ''The Lady Jane Smith'', and this is preserved if the lady marries a commoner, e.g. ''Mr John and The Lady Jane Smith''. The predicate 'The' should be used prior to "Lady" or "Lord" in all cases, except after a divorce for women who do not hold the courtesy title of "Lady" in their own right, e.g. Heather Mills|Heather, Lady McCartney or Jane, Lady Smith (the ex-wife of The Lord John Smith); cf Princess Diana|Diana, Princess of Wales, her final title after her divorce. "Lady" is also the customary title of the wife of a baronet or knight. The proper title, now only used in legal documents or on sepulchral monuments, is "Dame (title)|Dame". In the latter case, "Dame" is prefixed to the given name of the wife followed by the surname of the husband, thus ''Dame Jane Smith'', but in the former, "Lady" with the surname of the husband only, ''Sir John and The Lady Smith''. When a woman divorces a knight and he marries again, the new wife will be ''The Lady Smith'' while the ex-wife becomes ''Jane, The Lady Smith''. If a knight dies, his widow becomes ''Dowager Lady Smith'' (no ''the''). In the United Kingdom The title "Lady" is also used for a woman who is a Laird in her own right, so instead of being "Laird Jane Smith" she would be styled as "Lady Jane Smith". This is the same for the wife of a Laird. During the fifteenth century|15th and sixteenth century|16th centuries princesses or daughters of the Royal family|blood royal were usually known by their first names with "The Lady" prefixed, e.g. ''The Lady Elizabeth''; since Old English language|Anglo-Saxon did not have a female equivalent to princes or earls or other royals or nobles, aside from the queen, women of royal and noble status simply carried the title of "Lady".

General usage: social class

In more recent years, usage of the word ''the lady'' is even more complicated. Journalist William Allen White noted one of the difficulties in his 1946 autobiography. He relates that a woman who had paid a fine for prostitution came to his newspaper to protest, not that the fact of her conviction was reported, but that the newspaper had referred to her as a "woman" rather than a "lady." Since that incident, White assured his readers, his papers referred to human females as "women", with the exception of justice of the peace|police court characters, who were all "ladies". White's anecdote touches on a phenomenon that others have remarked on as well. In the late nineteenth century|nineteenth and early twentieth century, in a difference reflected in Nancy Mitford's essay "U and non-U English|U vs. non-U", lower class women strongly preferred to be called "ladies" while women from higher social backgrounds were content to be identified as "women." Alfred Ayers remarked in 1881 that upper middle class female store clerks were content to be "saleswomen," while lower class female store clerks, for whom their job represented a social advancement, indignantly insisted on being called "salesladies." Something of this sense may also be underneath Rudyard Kipling|Kipling's lines:
- ''For the Colonel's lady an' Judy O'Grady —''
- ''Are sisters under their skins!'' These social class issues, while no longer on the front burner in the twenty-first century, have imbued the formal use of "lady" with something of an odour of irony (e.g: "my cleaning lady"). It remains in use, for example, as a counterpart to "gentleman," in the phrase "ladies and gentlemen," and is generally interchangeable (in a strictly informal sense) with "woman" (as in, "The lady at the store said I could return this item within thirty days."). "Ladies" is also the normal text on the signs to any female toilet in a public place in the UK, again paired with "Gentlemen" (or "Gents").

More recent usage: sexism (US)

Non-sexist language guidelines forbid its use to refer attributively to the sex of a working person, as in ''lady lawyer'' and ''lady Physician|doctor''. Many find these to have a condescending nuance not shared by ''female lawyer'' or ''woman doctor''; compare ''poetess'' for a similar problem. Advocates of non-sexist language recommend not using the word at all, whereas others permit its parallel use in the same circumstances in which a man would be called a gentleman or lord (for example, titling washrooms ''Men'' and ''Ladies'' would be considered sexist, but using either ''Men'' and ''Women'' or ''Ladies'' and ''Gentlemen'' would be acceptable; as is ''landlady'' as the parallel of ''landlord''.)

References

- ''Merriam Webster's Dictionary of English Usage'' (Merriam-Webster, 1989), ISBN 0-87779-132-5.

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Sources: StartLearningNow, Wikipedia | Usage license: GNU FDL

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